Ummm... why do you have emoticons downtown? Oh, that's "art"!

Eight Street Tap... You won't find the man of your dreams necessarily. Bu you'll find the man of your night. I swear!

I don't work out in the mornings anymore. I once yawned so hard I pulled a jaw muscle.

"I've been smoking more in my house lately..."

I'm from the suburbs. I'm jumpy.

"You know, my Dad had 130 first cousins..."

This hair's not gonna color itself ...

"my seventh grade boyfriend was my most serious relationship...." Gotta love freshmen

So it turns out if I don't go see his mom and go and get fingerprinted I'm fucked.

I mean, ya gotta start somewhere. You can't just go, "hi, I wanna bang ya."

Friend of mine from Australia mentioned this today: "I'm sure I see 80% of my annually required number of stoned people whenever I visit Lawrence."

she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.

Gotta poop. I'm going to Java Break.

Overheard this at Henry's... " I just heard the words colonoscopy waft from over there.." which was quickly followed by hearing them say "worst oral surgeon ever"

I raise you Florida. I see your Florida, and raise you Dubai.

Biting the head off a gingerbread man can be very therapeutic.

Deck my balls!

... she likes her men funded.

Whatever... he doesn't even put out. Therefore, he is of no use.

"Well...I've been hit in the back of the head with an axe...and look at me. I'm fine." --OH years ago at the old Shenago Lounge by a gentleman exposing several inches of crack.

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