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Why does #lawrence smell like farts?

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To the kid I just saw in flipflops and a T-shirt: It is 30 degrees out! #Lawrence

... she likes her men funded.

Because our local newspaper runs awesome headlines like this "Mother testifies that ex-husband screamed ‘harder! harder!’ as son beat her with baseball bat"

He really is a tromboner...

Can I sit on the vagina part of the bench?

Heading to Lawrence this afternoon. Hopefully in a car and not a sled.

If you need a tacky Christmas sweater, the #Lawrence Goodwill store is like the mothership.

I just saw a lady driving downtown with a mannequin in the passenger seat. #Lawrence

"Dude, there are way too many cats masturbating on YouTube."

It appears #lawrence has gone with the Lennon/McCartney approach to snow removal. It might be better served adopting Nike's mantra.

At milepost 213 east of #Lawrence there is a cow loose on the turnpike #KTA

Walked down Mass St. and found an Avocado just laying on the sidewalk.

Reason #2059 that I love my kid's school -- they try yoga and learn about the flying spaghetti monster in their World Religions class. Gotta love Lawrence!

Anyone know where I can get a cow eyeball in #Lawrence? in advance, thanks (via @AmerikaG) Is it okay if the cow wears glasses?

Deck my balls!

...therefore through the transitive property they saved pee.

At JavaBreak, "The dog was retarded. No matter what you did, it would back itself up against a wall in my apartment and shit on it."

Biting the head off a gingerbread man can be very therapeutic.

Wendell, Dennis, Toad, "The mumbler", "The peace sign" guy, "Honk for hemp" guy, "That's my Dillon's" guy...etc...

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Why does #lawrence smell like farts?

To the kid I just saw in flipflops and a T-shirt: It is 30 degrees out! #Lawrence

... she likes her men funded.

Because our local newspaper runs awesome headlines like this "Mother testifies that ex-husband screamed ‘harder! harder!’ as son beat her with baseball bat"

He really is a tromboner...

Can I sit on the vagina part of the bench?

Heading to Lawrence this afternoon. Hopefully in a car and not a sled.

If you need a tacky Christmas sweater, the #Lawrence Goodwill store is like the mothership.

I just saw a lady driving downtown with a mannequin in the passenger seat. #Lawrence

"Dude, there are way too many cats masturbating on YouTube."

It appears #lawrence has gone with the Lennon/McCartney approach to snow removal. It might be better served adopting Nike's mantra.

At milepost 213 east of #Lawrence there is a cow loose on the turnpike #KTA

Walked down Mass St. and found an Avocado just laying on the sidewalk.

Reason #2059 that I love my kid's school -- they try yoga and learn about the flying spaghetti monster in their World Religions class. Gotta love Lawrence!

Anyone know where I can get a cow eyeball in #Lawrence? in advance, thanks (via @AmerikaG) Is it okay if the cow wears glasses?

Deck my balls!

...therefore through the transitive property they saved pee.

At JavaBreak, "The dog was retarded. No matter what you did, it would back itself up against a wall in my apartment and shit on it."

Biting the head off a gingerbread man can be very therapeutic.

Wendell, Dennis, Toad, "The mumbler", "The peace sign" guy, "Honk for hemp" guy, "That's my Dillon's" guy...etc...

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Overheard in Lawrence